You feel it. You know there is more to life than the every day grind of waking up, getting the children off to school, going to work, doing homework, making dinner and doing it all over again the next day. You feel it…something missing in your life.

For some of us, it just feels a bit empty, like something is missing but you can’t put your finger on it. For others, it hits us like a giant ocean wave knocking us down. There is a sense of longing for something more out of life. We all have that feeling at times, some times stronger and some times when life is busy it tends to fade into the background, but always, it is there. We all know there is something more.

There is something more to life than what we are currently doing. Something that makes life absolutely amazing and fills us with joy and energy every day. Some people seem to know exactly what it is but others no matter what their age are still seeking.

Perhaps the rush of every day life has left you feeling exhausted or stuck in a routine. Perhaps the business of life leaves you feeling accomplished and like life is pretty good. But is “pretty good” good enough?

If you are honest with yourself, you know the answer is “not really”. You know there is something more. So what is keeping you from living the life you are called to live?

Oh, you don’t know what that is. I wish I had an answer for you too. The reality is that neither of us is alone in struggling to find what will give our life meaning and fill that emptiness in our lives. Even the most put together and successful person you can think of, if they are honest with themselves still has that feeling of something is missing in their lives.

No it is not all doom and gloom. There are steps we can take to learning more about what we need to discover the key to living a fulfilled life full of joy. This journey us unique to each one of us. What will fill your life is different than what will fulfill my life. Why? Each one of us is called to use our personal talents, spiritual gifts, and time in a different way. It would be so easy if we were just given a road map and a destination. Then we would know exactly what we needed to be doing. We all know it doesn’t work that way.

You have been given a choice

Instead, we were given a choice. We were given talents and time, people in our paths to help us and inspire us along the way, and signs – for lack of a better word – that we were on the right track. Think of it as a game of hide and seek with our higher self. Some people call this our soul. Other people call it our God-like being or even God’s will for us. Regardless, we are all seeking something.

Through part of our life, we seek this “something” externally. We chase a dream that we have learned along the way. Learned because through our upbringing we taught lots of things. Some of those things are facts and others are beliefs. Beliefs are things that we have learned and think of as true facts, but which might not be. Beliefs might have served us at certain points in our lives, but sometimes, as we mature, these beliefs no longer serve us. Instead, they might be hindering us and keeping us from living that amazing life we are seeking.

Take for example, a belief that one’s self worth is based on how successful one is in business or how high up the corporate ladder one can go. While it is always good to be motivated to succeed, this success comes with hard work and sacrifice. I am not saying that hard work is not good. I believe hard work is good when done in the right direction and for the right reasons. It is not good when it has become an obsession or when we are so stressed out that it robs us of the enjoyment of life.

Meet Joe

Meet Joe, he was a very successful Senior Vice President in his company. He made lots of money, was recognized as and expert, was highly respected by his peers. He had a family, a big house, a boat, several cars… what more could he want? Did you notice I said he had a family. He was so busy succeeding in business that he was gone 4 out of five days each week traveling for work. When he would return home, he felt like a stranger, like he was interrupting his family’s life. Certainly they had everything they could desire, but they did not have a relationship with him.

The good news is that Joe also felt the emptiness. He realized that his belief of working hard to succeed left him missing out on something much more precious than money could buy him. He realized that he had grown apart from his wife throughout the years and that their relationship was strained. She looked older and overworked. As he held her in his arms when he returned from his trip, he realized that belief was robbing him of something much more precious – time with his family. That weekend he had an amazing time with his kids and wife. He left work behind and focused fully on them. They went out for a hike and a picking by the lake. His soul was rejuvenated. His family life was rekindled. He also had time to think about how his life needed more of this; he needed more balance and more time with his family. His kids were growing up fast and in a few years would be leaving. He realized that his beliefs had to change. His work life balance had to change. He realized that the emptiness he felt was because he was not doing what he was called to do as a father and a husband. He needed to find better balance in his life.

Yes. He continued working at the same company, but he started making changes. He started delegating and coaching his employees so they too could travel and accomplish some of those tasks he thought only he could do. He helped build up his team and gave them his trust to go out and do the same thing. He also made sure no one else traveled more than once a month because he never wanted anyone else to find themselves where he did. He shared with them how his beliefs changed and that beliefs are not hard facts that can not be changed.

For that phase in his life Joe was called to serve his family as a father, a leader, a mentor, a teacher, and a husband. He was called to help his children learn about having a balanced life and how to stop and rethink priorities when life seems to be overwhelming or out of balance. He helped not only his kids, but his workers and colleagues understand that while belief in hard work is helpful in driving success, it is not the only thing in life that is important. Balance in multiple aspects of life is just as important.

Years from now, Joe’s priorities might change again and with them his beliefs. Life has a funny way of doing that. Think about it, once his children are grown, he won’t be teaching and leading them any more. He will be called to do something else. For example, perhaps at that time, his parents might be in need of his assistance.

The story of Joe helps illustrate one possibility and only shows part of the complete picture. We all know life is complex. There are demands on us in multiple aspects of our life. There is work, finances, personal relationships, family, social networks, health, and spirituality to name a few. Each one of these areas of our life has demands and provides us with satisfaction (and stress) depending on how we perceive them at the moment.

Finding your calling

So what steps can you take to learn more about your calling and finding that missing something? The first step is to recognize something is missing and that there is something more.

Next take pulse of the different areas of your life. Think about it or actually write it down. Make a list of the areas in your life in which you spend time. Note how much time you spend in each of them. Go ahead write down the actual average hours you spend in each of them. Break it down into categories of life and then into activities. Use your instinct to figure this out. There is no right or wrong answer. Here is an example of one category of life and some activities: the category is health. Within it some of the activities are eat right, prepare food, exercise and meditate.

Now note how you feel about each of these activities. Do they help you fill fulfilled? Do they bring you joy? Do they stress you out? Next note if they are optional or necessary. Some things like going shopping and preparing food are necessary they might also be stressful, but they are necessary.

Look at the items that you marked as necessary. Not all at once, but over the next few weeks think about one of them at a time and ask yourself is there a better way to do X? Can I be more efficient? Can I share this activity with someone else so that I can get more enjoyment out of it? Is there better timing for this activity?

When we exercise our talents and focus on carrying out our calling, which is sharing the talents we have for the betterment of all, we experience a more fulfilled life.

Dr. Karina

Also look at the activities that you marked as optional. These are the things that you don’t really have to do. They are things that if they serve to bring you enjoyment or enhance your life, then you should keep doing them. However, if they stress you out perhaps it is time to reassess why you are even engaging in them at all. Remember that when you say “Yes” to something, you are saying “No” to something else. That No could be saying no to that amazing life you so desire.

Did you find things that absolutely brought you joy and left you fulfilled? Those are the things that you want to incorporate more of in you life. Perhaps there are also thing that you have wanted to do that you have not previously found time to do because you were so busy with other things. It is time to think about engaging in some of them. And don’t just think! Take action!

Periodically take time to think about your life. Reflect on how you feel and what meaning your life has. Whenever you feel that your life is not as full as it could be or that something is missing, pay attention to that feeling and seek an answer. It might be time to shift what you are doing and start doing something else that you are being called to do.

I believe that when we exercise our talents and focus on carrying out our calling, which is sharing the talents we have for the betterment of all, we experience a more fulfilled life. We have purpose and living that life on purpose with purpose fills that empty something feeling. We are all called. Are you listening?